By Heidi J Meyers, copyright 2026 ©, all rights reserved.
The vast majority of intending couples would want their wedding to be in-person, that is a given. However, there are certain epochs, such as during and after the World Wars and during Covid, when it is extremely difficult to travel and to have an in-person marriage. This is one of those times.
This is compounded by the fact that, intending couples who face obstacles to getting married in-person together, are also likely to have other issues, such as the local US Embassy or Consulate is closed due to war or security issues, and/or the beneficiary may be from a country under a travel ban.
What is a proxy marriage? How is it different from a virtual marriage?
What is a proxy marriage? The statute, the INA (Immigration and Nationality Act), §101(a)(35) states:
(35) The term "spouse", "wife", or "husband" do not include a spouse, wife, or husband by reason of any marriage ceremony where the contracting parties thereto are not physically present in the presence of each other, unless the marriage shall have been consummated.
This requirement that the couple has to be physically present in each other’s presence, has been in the statute for a very long time, and USCIS policy has basically remained the same, so the old BIA case law from the 1950s and 1960s is still valid. The USCIS Policy Alert, PA-2025-23, Family-Based Immigration: Spousal Petitions (10/17/2025) summarizes old BIA caselaw and longstanding USCIS policy, although it does contain clarification regarding the differences between a virtual marriage and a proxy marriage, and confirms that same sex marriages are valid for immigration purposes, simply re-hashes the old caselaw dating from the 1950s..
A virtual marriage is one that is officiated remotely, and may or may not be a proxy marriage. For example, if the marriage is conducted over Zoom and the bride and groom are sitting together in one location while the officiant of the marriage is sitting in another location, this is not a proxy marriage. According to the USCIS Policy Manual:
Virtual Marriages
A virtual marriage is one that takes place remotely, usually through electronic media technology. The parties to the marriage may or may not be physically present together and are generally physically located in a place other than where the officiant to the ceremony is located.
The laws of the place of celebration govern the validity of the marriage. Each jurisdiction’s civil authorities set their own requirements for authorizing a marriage, including any requirements regarding the location of the parties and the officiant. A virtual marriage is valid for immigration purposes if it is valid in the state or country that issued the marriage certificate, and it does not violate the public policy of the United States or a state where the petitioner resides, or where the couple will reside. For the marriage to be valid for immigration purposes, the parties also must consummate the marriage after the ceremony if the parties were not physically together for the ceremony.
See, USCIS Policy Manual, Vol 6, Ch. 6, Spouses, https://www.uscis.gov/policy-manual/volume-6-part-b-chapter-6
Example of a proxy marriage: Mr. Hellno, is in the US on an H-1B. His family has arranged a marriage for him with his cousin, Ms. Pareshan. The families get the Nikkah (marriage contract) and have a small Nikkah ceremony in Pakistan. Ms. Pareshan participates in the Nikkah ceremony, but Mr. Hellno stays in the US working and is not physically present at the Nikkah.
While they have the Nikkah (marriage contract), the families never hold the shadi (public wedding ceremony). Mr. Hellno does not go back to Pakistan to see his bride. Ms. Pareshan goes to the US Embassy in Islamabad to apply for her H-4 visa. The H-4 is denied because it is a proxy marriage and it was never consummated.
What if Mr. Hellno had participated in the Nikkah via Zoom, does that make it a valid marriage for immigration? No, Mr. Hellno was in the US while his bride was in Pakistan. They were not physically present in the presence of each other. It is still a proxy marriage.
The backstory: Proxy marriage may or may not reflect on the bona fides of the marriage. Here, Mr. Hellno was not keen on getting married to Ms. Pareshan but felt pressured by his family and obligated to go through with it. He used his work as an excuse, first not to go back to Pakistan for the Nikkah and then indefinitely delaying the shadi. Each time his family insists that he return to Pakistan, he answers “Hell no!”
Consummation is only required for proxy marriages. The standard in-person marriage does not require consummation, as long as you can show the marriage is bona fide.
There is a consummation requirement only if the bride and groom were not together in each other’s presence at the marriage. If the spouses marry in the physical presence of each other, i.e., it is an in-person, legal marriage, there is no consummation requirement. See, for example, Matter of Peterson, A#14706662 (BIA 03/08/1968).
Example: while in their 80s and both widowed, US citizen Bob and Filipina Aurora meet each other in Connecticut and fall in love. It is extremely romantic, and the two are inseparable lovebirds. They have a beautiful wedding at the senior center with all their friends and family, and the marriage is legally registered in the State of Connecticut. They put up a big sign with a red heart and an arrow through it, “Bob and Aurora Forever!!!” While they love each other dearly and cannot be apart, since they are in their 80s they do not consummate the marriage. The USC husband Bob can still petition for his Filipina wife Aurora with USCIS because they had a legal, in-person wedding. No proof of consummation is required for approval of the I-130 marriage petition.
Once Aurora gets her green card, triumphantly, they whiz through the airport, each in their respective wheelchair. They are off to the Philippines to meet Aurora’s family. Eighty-five years old and having the time of their lives!
If it is a proxy marriage, the consummation has to be after the marriage. Consummation and even having children prior to the marriage does not suffice.
Consummation prior to a proxy marriage, even if the couple has children together prior to marriage, does not suffice to meet the consummation requirement. In In the Matter of W-, 4 I&N Dec. 209 (BIA 1950), the BIA held that under the predecessor of Section 101(a)(35), that a proxy marriage in Trieste Italy was not valid for immigration purposes, where the USC petitioner had his Army buddy (to whom he had given a power of attorney) stand in for him at the marriage. This was even though the couple had a child together prior to the marriage. Since there was no consummation after the marriage, it was not valid for immigration.
Similarly, in the Matter of B, 5 I&N Dec. 698 (BIA 1954), even though the husband and wife had lived together prior to the marriage and had three children together, the proxy marriage which took place after the USC husband had returned to the US, was not valid for immigration purposes because there was no consummation after the marriage.
No, you do not have to show that you have had physical relations to prove consummation. The fact that the couple has been together in person after the proxy marriage is enough to show consummation.
To prove consummation, you do not have to talk about your s_x life, and in fact these types of questions are not appropriate. If you have a proxy marriage, to show consummation it is enough for the USC petitioner to have gone to visit the beneficiary, or that the couple has lived together for any period of time after the wedding.
According to the USCIS Policy Manual, acceptable evidence that the parties consummated a proxy marriage includes but is not limited to, the following:
- The birth certificate of a child born to the couple, and listing both parents on the certificate, after the ceremony took place;
- Passport or airline tickets showing that the petitioner and alien beneficiary were in the same place at the same time subsequent to the marriage ceremony; or
- Evidence of residence together after the ceremony took place such as a joint lease or signed witness affidavits.
If it is not possible to get married in person due to the risks of traveling and the security situation, or the beneficiary is under a travel ban, then the solution may be a fiancé visa.
If you are unable to get married in-person and also would not be able to travel to see your beloved after the wedding, a fiancé petition, Form I-129F, may be preferable to trying to get married abroad. The fiancé visa, or K-1, allows the beneficiary to enter the US for 90 days in order to get married, and then file for permanent residency. While the fiancé visa generally requires that the couple have met each other in-person within the two years prior to filing the petition, there are exceptions.
The USCIS has discretion to waive the in-person meeting requirement if it 1) would result in extreme hardship to the petitioner; or 2) violate strict customs of the beneficiary’s foreign culture or social practice, for example, where marriages are generally arranged and bride and groom are prohibited from meeting or having any contact with each other until the wedding. 8 CFR 214.2(k)(2).
Additionally, if the beneficiary’s country of citizenship is one which is banned from immigrant visas, the beneficiary may still obtain a K-1 fiance visa.
Example: USC petitioner is not able to travel to Jordan to marry her fiancé, Mr. Habibi due to the ongoing war with Iran and the security situation. It would be an extreme hardship. Also, Jordan is subject to the recent travel ban effective January 21, 2025, allegedly due to public charge issues. See, https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/News/visas-news/immigrant-visa-processing-updates-for-nationalities-at-high-risk-of-public-benefits-usage.html
Thus an immigrant visa through an approved marriage petition is not currently possible. However, the USC petitioner may still file an I-129F on behalf of Mr. Habibi as her fiancé. Fiance visas, K-1s, are not subject to the travel ban, which impacts immigrant visas.
Additionally, Mr. Habibi has a minor child from a prior marriage, and the child can be included in the fiancé petition. If they married, the USC petitioner would have to file two separate petitions, one I-130 for the husband and one for the stepchild. With the fiancé petition, both can be included in the same petition.
There are other practical problems aside from the legal ones. For example, there have been widespread closures of US embassies and consulates in the Middle East, and very limited flights. You will need a competent immigration attorney to assist you.